I feel that I often get pigeon holed into one sided friendships. For some people, its as though I become a vital resource for a specific reason or a therapist. And the fact that I am highly sensitive does not help the situation. In the end, I feel like I am not always valued as a friend.
This then turns into a self interrogation. Is there something about me that people aren’t drawn to? Should I change something about myself? Soon enough, depressing thoughts set in. Nobody likes me. Nobody cares about my life at all.
This is the point were I do not let my thoughts go any further. I have to seek the Lord for his wisdom and strength.
It’s normal to long for support during difficult times. God has made us for community and relationships. These past couple of months have been hard for me. My health conditions are worsening, which has affected all aspects of my life. Sometimes I wish I had a godly friendship were I could both encourage and be encouraged.
Though prayer and reading the bible, I feel that God has revealed some things to me concerning this issue.
1) Don’t be resentful of people who don’t necessarily go out of their way for you.
Friends may truly care about you but sometimes situations get in the way. Understand that sometimes relationships change as well. Continue to pray for the people that seem distant for a season. If there are in need of your help, always be a representative of Christ through your actions.
“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31
2) Refocus your energy and efforts to those who need your help.
It may be burdensome to help others during personal trials, but as Christians that’s what we are called to do. There may be a younger person who is going through a hard time at school, or a family member who is going through a difficult time. Instead of harboring bitterness and pain, invest in helping those with needs. Your testimony will be even more valid when you walk by faith and not by sight.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. “2 Corinthians 1:3-4
3) Pray about it.
This action may be listed as last, but it is the most important. You cannot love your neighbor or help others genuinely without going to the source of love. His love fulfills us. His love comfort us. With this His love we are complete. We can effectively help others by being the hands and feet of Christ. He will reveal to us those friendships that are worth the investment. God also shows us those we should appreciate more for their unwavering friendship.
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7
In the end, to those who pray for me, sympathize with my pain, make me laugh until I cry, I value your friendship. I pray that I may not only show you my affection with words but also with prayer and action. I pray to be more appreciative of you. For those who may not be as consistent with me, I will continue to love them as well. I know that no matter who may leave my side, I still have God on my side. And he is always faithful.