Firstly, I will like to update those that read my blog on my current situation. About a few months ago, I was struggling with my health. It seemed as though I damaged a nerve by my spine at first. Today, thank God I am not dealing with numbness, pain, etc. It was very painful. But unfortunately I’m still living with complications in my head and body. The doctors still don’t have a cause, but I know God is in control. I just try to deal with things one step at a time.
There have been other changes in my life. At the end of January, I was ready to start my spring semester of college. I have outgrown my interest in graphic design, but I just wanted to complete my degree in graphic communication. I only have about 30 credits to complete my undergraduate degree.
I had been praying to God about what choices I should make concerning schooling. I was so miserable after the fall semester that I was petrified about the idea of going back. Should I just go back this semester and stick it out? Or should I take a semester off and think this whole graphic design thing through?
I decided not to drop the classes and give it a try. Right before my first class of the semester, I told God that if he didn’t want me to go to school this semester he would have to make it hard for me to sit in the class. I didn’t last ten minutes into my first class. It was as though God was telling me, “You know I said no, and still you want to test me. This is not where you belong.”
I left my class and cried in my school’s stairwell. Even if I was going to be miserable in college, everyone expected me to go and do well. I told him, “If you want me to drop everything, you’ll make everything easy.” And it was the easiest process I ever had in dropping all my classes. Even though I had made a risky decision, I felt so much peace about it.
So these months have been very difficult. My boyfriend and friends of mine are graduating. I have nothing to show for being obedient but health complications, hating what I used to love, and being broke all the time. I have been praying for God’s will and now that I’m closer to it, it’s getting harder. I want to understand the purpose of all of this, but as Steven Furtick says, “He’s more interested in your full obedience than your full understanding.” I have to consciously continue to be obedient in this season.
In the end, this is what I’ve learned so far.
When God Says No, there is a bigger plan for your life. God doesn’t have to give you the answers to all the questions. He just requires you to trust him with the details.
When God Says No, continue to do what is in his revealed will. If you are in his revealed will, his unrevealed will become clearer. Spend time praying, fasting, and serving others in Christ.
When God Says No, you are closer to where God wants you to be. God has been continually confirming and speaking through people about what I will be doing. If I were in school, I probably would not have had the opportunity to listen to God’s voice. He will do anything he can to get your full attention.
Please do not read this and think that to find God’s purpose in your life, you will have to drop out of school. Everyone is different and there is no set formula in understanding what God wants to do in your life. What is required from all of us is to be obedient once God wants us to do what he has placed in our hearts. I hope this helped you.