So we are in June. Where did the time go? Jerry and I are only 3 months away from our wedding.
What hurts me the most is its been chaos for us. I wish I could say that after 7 years of being together, this would be our happiest time but unfortunately, it has been otherwise. My anxiety began right before I got engaged to Jerry and it was so bad that I don’t remember the proposal. This alone has made me so depressed. The fact that I would go weeks without wearing my ring or months of no wedding planning. The fact that I’ve cried more than I’ve been excited about this process. I’ve felt like I’ve become my high school self again. The person I never wanted to turn back too.
I wish I could be that bride that is happy and has it all together but even looking at our wedding email makes my anxiety worse. I am so happy about the support team I have but I feel like there is pressure for me to have it all together. Not a lot of things are done still and we just found our venue a month ago and a half ago.
I ask God why he would allow this at this time. I am in a season where I could feel accomplished one day and the next day its a miracle if I can leave my bed.
I want to be real throughout this process because I’m so tired of dishonesty on social media. If you are going through a difficult time during your engagement or just in general just know that’s ok.
“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
I have been seeking professional help and leaders of my local church throughout this process and it has been such a great help to me. Every day it seems like I am grabbing onto Jesus and asking him to save me from this. He does but it is still the thorn in my side. It has to be for something bigger I guess.
My therapist says there is much beauty in my honesty so I guess that I must continue to cultivate the only thing that seems to spark in this process: my transparency.
I hope to see the outcome of this sharpening soon until then I will try to praise in the hallway.
Ways I have been dealing with my Anxiety
1. What is the root of your anxiety? Where does it begin?
I guess the best place to start is to honestly seek a professional, mentor, or pastor. God has put those people in their positions to help you in your difficulties. Seek help and talk to someone mature in the faith. Through my interactions with them, I started to see what was the root of my anxiety and the necessary help that I need during this time.
2. Where or when does your anxiety begin?
Evaluate your anxiety and its origin. What are you thinking or feeling? If you are getting anxiety when you wake up or before you go to sleep, establish a routine that alleviates the triggers you have. For myself, I usually get anxiety during the morning so I have to keep my phone turned off for a while. I cannot be bombarded with text and calls so early so I choose to leave it somewhere until I feel comfortable enough to deal with it.
3. Eliminate the unnecessary hoopla
Do you really need to be in eight ministries, attend every function and gathering? NO! You just choose to say yes to everything. Anxiety requires you to slow down to move forward. It may be hard to have to slow down but you need to take care of you first! It will get worse if you do not evaluate your schedule and prioritize what is crucial. Cut out the rest. Do not volunteer yourself for more than you can bare. If you find that you no longer have the energy to work on a project you were excited for, be honest and let it go. No event or task should mean more to you than your mental and psychical health.
4. Make a routine and stick to it
This is so vital and I really need to start implementing strongly in my life. I am going to try to establish a morning and night routine. Trying to get more sleep and waking up earlier to take on small tasks. Routines gives us structure and familiarity, something that feels lost in the midst of anxiety.
When I am having an anxious day, I find that when I have a small list of goals written down and accomplished makes me feel less anxious and more confident in myself.
5. Envision the ultimate goal and think happy thoughts
I want to be a joyful bride for my community and ultimately for God in an act of thankfulness. I am the first daughter and the first child leaving my house. So I want it to be a good experience. I cannot let this anxiety take over what God has blessed me with. I’m so happy that I am marrying my best friend. People have beautiful weddings planned out in less time. So everything will be ok. That’s what I must keep telling myself. I have verses on anxiety everywhere so throughout my day it a constant reminder that God is with me.
6. Get Educated
There are different types of anxiety and different techniques to help to cope. Do your research and find things that will help you. I realized through research some breathing techniques and exercises that help with anxiety. If you are a friend, family member, boyfriend, or husband etc., it is crucial you try to be informed as much as possible to help the person on the road to recovery.
Hope these tips help anyone struggling with anxiety. If you have struggled with anxiety, what helps you to cope?
Please leave a comment and let me know.